entries - media and us...

When my teacher in high school called me a lesbian just because I was a fan of this basketball player in school who happened to be a girl, I did not even know what it meant. Homosexuality was a subject that nobody talked about or even hinted at. This was in 8th grade. So I went back home and looked up the meaning in a dictionary.
That was my introduction to sexuality and its variations. It was not just man and woman who could be ‘happy ever after’ like how I was conditioned to believe. I knew eunuchs existed. I had seen them dancing and roaming around in trains or on busy roads clapping their hands at male commuters and demanding money. The failure to comply meant that they would lift their skirts and flash. I was always curious about them. The media never had anything on them. They did not exist for them but I saw them everyday on my way to school, to play or to work.
So I researched and found they were intersex people, born with both sex organs. I was always intrigued by their physical features. They looked like men but had breasts and talked and behaved like women. They did not exist for the government where any job application required one to specify whether one was a male or a female. The in-betweens had no option to click. They could not get jobs. They were reduced to begging and dancing on the streets and entering prostitution. The media ignored them. And it annoyed me. They were people and isn’t the media supposed to give voice to the voiceless.
All through my time in India, in Mumbai and Delhi, I never came across anyone who was gay or lesbian. Maybe some of them were, but they were not out. I read all these reports about boys sodomizing other boys in school toilets and I read about this lone activist Ashok Rao Kavi who was fighting for gay rights in India.
Having sex with someone from one’s own sex is a punishable offence in India and maybe that’s one reason why people are afraid to come out of closets. As I became part of the media, I came to know many of these people. And I started to understand the complexities of queer representation in the media.
Fire was the film that brought the issue to the forefront. Made by a woman director considered very arty and a champion of parallel cinema, Deepa Mehta, the film is about two women married to two brothers, who indulge in lesbian sex because their husbands do not have time for them. The film disturbed me. Something was wrong.
And a few years later, I realized what was wrong with the film. It showed the women turn lesbian after they were shunned by their husbands. So, the film was not about women loving each other at all. It was a story of rejection and degradation of women who are unsatisfied and turn to each other to fulfill their sexual needs only after they are rejected by their male counterparts.
Then, as I was starting to comprehend media messages, came another film Girlfriend. The promos of the film had two girls making out and it was erotic enough to attract viewers. I went to watch the film, intrigued by the boldness of this director to touch a subject that is so forbidden. The film at best was outrageous. The lesbian character was portrayed as villainous who was trying to lay her hands on her straight roommate who was in a relationship. She was a dark character, trying to kill the other girl’s boyfriend in a fit of jealousy. In a way the film looked down upon lesbians as vamps and straight girls as victims and men as their saviors enforcing the stereotypes. The lesbian character was butch lesbian, while the straight one was a demure, pretty and innocent damsel in distress. The savior of course was a macho guy.
The film also was rejected by the public who were not ready for stark lesbian portrayals. Girlfriend was a mainstream commercial cinema. The actresses later apologized to have acted in a movie that had something to do with lesbians and said it was a fault and they respected the culture and would not do such films again.
When I came to United States for my master’s in journalism, I made a lot of gay friends. But I did not come across any lesbians or bisexuals. I took up the LGBT issues as my beat for my advanced reporting class in order to learn more about the community and the problems it was facing. My first story was on Vatican banning gay priests. I was shocked to see how even in America, sexuality was pre-defined. People did not have a choice and gay rights was an issue here too. Being gay is also viewed as being a pedophile by the Catholic church.
I am a straight ally and I am a member of various gay clubs on campus. A friend saw my name in one of the gay clubs on facebook and asked me why was I in Gay At SU, the gay group. This was interesting. It is judging and compartmentalizing people based on their preferences or views.
The media representations are also mostly stereotypical. Will & Grace is one show I am familiar with. The gay characters are almost always impeccably dressed with a fine taste in arts and music. They are effeminate and metrosexual males who spend too much time on their looks and have a lot of money. They are also the best friends for the female lead character.
But my friend Roger Batson was not at all like this. He shopped at Walmart, T.J. Maxx and did not frequent operas or went to theatres. He does not flutter his eyes when he sees an attractive guy. He is just like any other guy. But this is not what the media portrays.
Damon Romine of GLAD told me the media does this to create easy reference points for the audience. He said it is dangerous because when gay people do not see themselves reflected in the media, they think something is wrong and this delays their coming out process. Sometimes, it forces them to be in the closet all their lives.
In Indian films lately we are seeing more of gay characters but they are not fully developed characters. They are either there to provide a comic relief or are there to be the actress’ best friend. Another film that comes to my mind is Monster. Charlize Theron enacted a lesbian character but though the film deserves kudos for dealing with such a subject, the portrayal of the character was very stereotypical and it showed Theron as a butch lesbian.
And as per the discussion in class, there are no bisexuals or transgender characters on television. I agree. During the fall semester, I also had a chance to meet with Frances Fischer, a transgender woman. She was in the process of transitioning and lost her job. At 52, she was struggling to get a job and at the time I met her she was cleaning tables to earn a living and was on public assistance. As I sat with her in the food court at the mall, I saw several people look at us with interest. They were amused. Why can’t we treat people as humans and respect the choices they make in their lives regarding their sexuality?
Most gay organizations do not include transgender people. That leaves the transgender people in a bad situation. I thought the gay community will understand their pain and suffering since they are experiencing the same isolation and rejection. But they don’t.
Bisexuals are another set of people who are finding it difficult to explain to others that their sexual inclination toward both sexes is not acquired. It comes natural to them. I have many bisexual friends and over so many cups of coffee I have tried to understand them and feel their difficulties in hiding or selectively revealing to others their true selves lest they are misunderstood.
Such is the image that media presents that many people think that gays and lesbians are desperate and are terrified of associating with them. When I introduced one of my straight friends to my gay friend, he confessed he had always been scared of entering gay bars or hanging out with gay people because he thought they would hit on him.